Ok so we've all heard this at one point or another while trying to return something... clothes that don't fit, electronics that don't work, decorations that don't look quite right... the list goes on and on. When we purchase something and change our minds, we have the freedom to return it, right? What about a child? I was more than shocked when I heard about the following story:
"Russian Adoption Case Proves Not Everyone Deserves to Have Children"
She was "returning him" because of his developmental difficulties- most of which he probably has from living in a Russian orphanage for 7 years where he grew up thinking that he wasn't wanted. She claimed that she was not informed of his "issues" when she agreed to parent him. If you choose to be a parent- whether biologically or by adoption, you are making that choice not only for yourself but for that child. For her to send him back with basically a post-it note saying that she no longer wanted him is the most selfish thing in the world. I am around parents everyday who would not "choose" for their child to have cancer or cystic fibrosis or autism or have to be on dialysis 4 hrs a day/ 3x a week... but they "choose" to love their child through it and to get them the help they need. I am sure that not a day goes by when they are sitting in the hospital and they don't think "this is not what I signed up for"- but they signed up to be a parent and this was the hand they were dealt. This woman was not acting out of fear, but selfishness. Instead of helping him, her poor decision making is now going to further contribute to this boy's developmental difficulties. He is basically hearing "I don't want you" again. This case is very near and dear to my heart because we do get some children at the hospital whose parents are not willing or able to care for their medical needs... so they leave them with us and never come back and they ultimately get put into the custody of DFCS.
A blog that I follow called Fly Through Our Window featured a video of a local ministry in Alabama called the Big House Foundation that supports foster children. It is submitted as part of the Pepsi Refresh Project. You can vote for it through April 30th and I would definitely encourage you to do so. The project with the most votes gets a grant to support it's mission. Here is the video: