Siracha Lime Salmon

This recipe is originally from Self Magazine, but I found it on Pinterest (along with everything else in my life). It is one of Gwenyth Paltrow's recipes, and if you have seen Gwenyth Paltrow lately, you'll want to give it a shot. It was SO yummy! I will definitely be making this multiple times this summer and will have the husband throw it on the grill next time.

Siracha Lime Salmon (from here)

1 1/4 lbs pounds salmon fillet, skin removed (I kept the skin on and it was just fine)
Juice and zest of 1/2 lime (I actually used a whole lime- LOVE lime!)
1 tbsp maple syrup 
1 1/2 tsp sriracha sauce
1/2 tsp coarse sea salt 
2 tbsp coarsely chopped cilantro

Directions
Heat oven to 425°. In a bowl, whisk together juice, zest, syrup, sriracha and salt. Place salmon in a baking dish lined with parchment paper; pour lime-maple mixture over top. Roast salmon until cooked through and flaky, about 15-20 minutes. Sprinkle with cilantro; serve. I served it with grilled corn on the cob and a fresh salad- so good!

 

Six and Thirty

May 12. We meet again. Apparently I've been using the term birthiversary so long that my phone's autocorrect recognizes it- as if to say "here you go stupid, you're the only one who actually means to write this non-word so I'll save you some time". Regardless, here we are. Today is our 6th anniversary and the husband's 30th that's 3-0 birthday. It's easy to say the cliche time has flown by so fast. Which is mostly true. Most days and weeks have flown by way too quickly, but then there are days that haven't. We've been blessed by 6 years of smiles and laughter and random dance parties just because it's Thursday. We've also had the bottom drop out on us and feel as though we couldn't possibly make it through one more day. On days that felt too hard to even pray, we have thanked God for each other. That through it all, we weren't doing life alone. So here's to 6 years and 76 more of morning cups of coffee, evening walks, spontaneous beach trips, movie nights with homemade pizza and random dance parties just because it's Monday. There is no one else I'd rather do life with.

Of course, I can't end this post without recognizing the fact that the husband has hit the triple decade mark... though he was mistaken for a 16 year old student on Tuesday. Last weekend, his family was in town to celebrate and last night we had some friends over to our house for little cookout (which I am now realizing I didn't take a single picture last night). Here are some pictures of the festivities last weekend.

Mother's Day

I've had a different outlook on Mother's Day for the past two years. Mother's Day 2011, I was pregnant for the first time and bursting with joy. By Mother's Day 2012, I had two miscarriages and didn't really want to acknowledge the day. Four miscarriages later, here we are at Mother's Day 2013 and I have a bit of a different view.  It is a day to celebrate Mothers, each and every kind of mother. While I'm not up all night with round the clock feedings or chasing a toddler around the house, I have experienced some of the most real emotions that a mother can. Mother's Day this year also falls on our anniversary (and the husband's birthday). I got a necklace that serves as a visual representation of our story and also allows me to carry our little ones around with us at all times. The silver mom charm is self explanatory. I have three Heavenly babies waiting on me. The gold leaf charm is actually called the grow charm. This is because I am confident that God is still growing us and shaping us throughout all of this. The bird charm is because all of our babies left to be with their Heavenly Father. The cross serves as the reason we can still have hope. We serve a God who knows our pain and loves us through it. Because of the cross, we can rest assured that the best is yet to come and death truly has not won. Lastly, there are three little birthstones. January for baby 1, August for baby 2 and October for baby 3. I had a hard time deciding on whether I should get 3 or 4 given that medically, I've had four miscarriages. The third one was a chemical pregnancy at 4.5 weeks, so we never got an ultrasound, saw a heartbeat or had a due date. Because of this, I chose three. I may change my mind down the road, but this seemed right for now. I fully expect to get comments and questions about it from strangers who don't know our story and will ask me about my children. I haven't prepared the perfect response to give in the Publix checkout line or to well-intentioned coworkers, but will answer honestly as the questions come. While I don't have pictures of my kids on my phone or in my wallet (does anyone honestly still do that?), I can wear this and feel as though they are still a part of me.

All of the charms except the bird are from Stella and Dot. If you need a stylist, I can recommend Amanda Luton. She is a former coworker of mine and is the best :)

Basic Banana Bread

I really love banana bread. Simple, traditional, without-all-of-the-extras banana bread. It's the perfect option when you have ripe bananas that you don't want to throw out. This recipe is just that. It's super easy and you most likely already have all of the ingredients.

Basic Banana Bread (adapted from here)
- 3 ripe bananas peeled
- 1/3 cup melted butter
- 1/2 cup of brown sugar
- 1/4 cup of white sugar
- 1 egg
- 1 tsp vanilla
- 1 tsp baking soda
- 1 tsp cinnamon
- pinch of salt
- 1 1/2 cups flour
*Obviously, you can add walnuts, chocolate chips, cranberries, blueberries, or whatever else your heart desires. This recipe is perfect by itself or to use as a starter recipe.

Directions
1. Preheat your oven to 350 and mix bananas, butter and sugar on medium speed until well blended (leaving a few lumps).

2. Mix in the egg, vanilla, baking soda, cinnamon and salt until well blended.

3. Gradually mix in the flour until everything is thoroughly mixed.

4. Pour into a greased loaf pan and bake at 350 for 45 min to an hour (depending on your oven). The original recipe called for an hour, but mine was perfect after 45 min.

Enjoy with a great cup of coffee!

Donate Life

As April comes to a close, so does National Donate Life Month. Here is a very sweet video that Children's put together to celebrate the remarkable gift of life that organ donation brings to our sweet patients and families. I am so blessed to work for such an amazing organization and serve these kiddos and their families. I. love. my. job.

Lemon Blueberry Bars

I made this last night and oh. my. yum. In my opinion, this has more of a key lime pie-like consistency that you eat with a fork rather than a bar that you would pick up and eat with your hands like a brownie. It would actually be yummy made with limes instead of lemons too. Regardless, it was the perfect summertime dessert and super easy!

Lemon Blueberry Bars (from here)
For the crust (You could easily buy a pre-made crust if you're short for time)
- 1 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs 
- 6 tablespoons butter, melted 
- 1/4 cup granulated sugar 
- Zest of one lemon

For the filling 
- 2 large egg yolks 
- 1 (14 ounce can) sweetened condensed milk  
- 1/2 cup fresh lemon juice 
- 1 teaspoon lemon zest 
- 1 cup fresh blueberries

Directions 
1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Spray an 8x8 inch baking dish with cooking spray. Set aside.

2. In a medium bowl, combine the graham cracker crumbs, melted butter, sugar, and lemon zest. Stir until graham cracker crumbs are moist. Press crumbs firmly into the bottom and slightly up the sides of prepared pan. Bake the graham cracker crust for 10 minutes. Remove from oven and allow to cool to room temperature.

3. To make the filling, combine the egg yolks and condensed milk in a medium bowl. Stir in the lemon juice and lemon zest. Stir until mixture is smooth and begins to slightly thicken. Gently fold in the 3/4 of the blueberries, reserving some for the top. Honestly, I forgot to save some for the top and dumped them all in the mixture. It doesn't really make a difference except it would've looked prettier with some on top.

4. Pour the lemon blueberry filling evenly over the graham cracker crust then top with the remaining blueberries. Bake for 15 minutes, or until just set.

5. Cool for 10 minutes at room temperature, then refrigerate until completely chilled. Cut into bars and serve. 

Update

So this post is really a continuation of this one. Really it's a continuation of the last two years and if you're new to the blog, I would suggest reading Our Story. A couple weeks after my surgery on March 4, I got a call from my doctor herself who told me that the genetic testing from this last pregnancy confirmed a genetic abnormality. Our next steps were to have a specific type of genetic testing called karyotyping done on both Dustin and me. This is where they look very closely at our chromosomes to see where exactly this genetic abnormality came from. We had blood drawn for that about a month ago and this morning, we had our appointment with a genetic counselor to go over the results. The result is that I am a balanced translocation carrier. This is where you'll need to put your thinking caps on and think way back to high school biology.

Typical functioning people are born with 46 chromosomes (23 from mom and 23 from dad). I have all 46 chromosomes, but they are arranged a little differently. This is something that was most likely inherited, but there is a chance it could've been de novo (not inherited). Basically, a piece of my #5 chromosome is attached to my #8 chromosome and a piece of my #8 chromosome is attached to #5. I've provided a picture for you visual learners.

I am considered a carrier, because I am completely normal (for the most part) and it does not affect my health at all. The problem occurs when my chromosomes are passed onto a baby. I have one normal #5 chromosome and one normal #8 chromosome in addition to the abnormal #5 and abnormal #8 (remember one #5 & #8 from mom and one #5 & #8 from dad). If the normal ones get selected for the baby, then we're fine and it would most likely be a healthy full term baby. If the abnormal ones (the multicolored ones above) get selected, it will result in miscarriage or severe birth defects if a baby did carry to term, because that would mean the baby has too much or too little genetic material. Here is a visual of the possible scenarios with just my chromosomes. Luckily, Dustin's tested normally. Consider the purple one chromosome #5 and the yellow one as chromosome #8.

So, what this really means is that by textbook definition a biological child of ours would have a 25% chance of having normal chromosomes, a 25% chance of being a balanced translocation carrier (like me) and a 50% chance of having unbalanced chromosomes.

Typically, someone with a balanced translocation will experience the following scenarios:
1. Infertility (meaning not able to even get pregnant at all). This is not our issue.
2. Recurrent miscarriage. This is where we are.
3. Live births. The chances of having a baby with a severe birth defect for us are approx. 2-4% given that my history shows that mine are more likely to miscarry if they are not healthy. In theory, the chances of having a healthy baby at some point are still roughly 50% depending on which chromosomes are selected.

So where does this leave us? Well... we could continue to try and get pregnant naturally, hoping that the baby would end up with either of the chromosomes at the end of the left arrow in the above picture. This would be a complete unknown until they could do some genetic testing in early pregnancy. Another option would be to do IVF with PGD (preimplantation genetic determination). Meaning, they would test all of the potential embryos before implantation to see which ones (if any) are healthy. This is really also an unknown, because there is no guarantee that any given cycle will produce any healthy embryos. Another option would be IVF using an egg donor or embryo adoption. Anyone that has done IVF knows very well that there are never any guarantees with it- even with healthy embryos.

This condition is something that affects approximately 1 in 1000 people (lucky me). Our genetic counselor is going to send our results along with a rough outline of our family history to a geneticist in New York who is going to take a closer look (hard to believe you can get much closer) and will tell us more specifically what our percentages look like instead of the textbook percentages (further miscarriages vs. healthy pregnancies). We could get these numbers in the next week or so.

Now that I've gotten all of the science out of the way and made your head hurt, here is also what I know. Our God is bigger than science. He is bigger than percentages and statistics. And He knew this about me from day 1. He knows what's behind us and also what is ahead. This certainly would not have been the road we would have chosen, but it's the one we've been given. We are (and have always been) trusting in Him each step of the way. We know that He has big plans for our family and will continue to remain faithful to this life He's called us to live.