Monday, July 29, 2013
Waiting
So you know those bloggers out there that make some big exciting announcement and then seem to drop off the face of the earth? Yeah, me neither... But seriously... I've been held captive the past couple weeks by camp preparation and then camp itself. No worries though, friends, because camp is over for this year which means I am now in full baby mode. We have officially completed our home study, which means that the government now authorizes us to become parents. Shocking, I know. If everyone out there had to go through this process in order to have biological children, I can guarantee you there would be half as many people on this planet.. just saying. But nonetheless... it is finished. This entire process up until now has been a series of tasks and lists. Now that all of the paperwork has been filed, every fingerprint taken and every box checked... our next step is quite possibly the hardest. We wait. We wait for the right case to come along that will ultimately bring our baby home. Once we get a case, we wait to see if the birth mother chooses us. Once she chooses us, we wait until the due date- all the while praying she doesn't change her mind. But the point of the story is... now, we wait. Everything up until now has been task-oriented. I've been able to file our completed paperwork neatly in the labeled sections of my teal patterned expandable file folder and cross items off the list in my iPad notes. I've never been good at waiting. Waiting for Christmas. Waiting in line at Disney World. Waiting for a table in a restaurant. Waiting at the doctor's office. I hate to wait. But all the while, I can say with full confidence that I know the Lord is at work. He is at work in me individually. He is at work in our family. He is at work in our birth mother, though we've yet to meet. I know that today, we are one day closer to meeting our baby than we were yesterday. And tomorrow will be one day closer than today. Until then, we will wait.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
FAQ's
We are overwhelmed with the love and support that has poured in over the last couple weeks since we've shared our exciting news with all of you- so a huge THANK YOU to everyone out there!
Now, I have to apologize at my lack of blogging since then. Between adoption prep, camp prep and being out of town- our summer is flying by! I've been meaning to do a post like this since the last one, because we've been getting a lot of the same questions about our adoption process from so many people. We are so grateful for all of the encouragement we've received! Here is some more info on the excitement that will be Oprea party of 3 (or more??)
Q. Where are you exactly in the process?
A. We have our final pre-placement home study visit this Sunday (July 14). Once our social worker writes our report after the visit, we will be "ready on paper". This means by government standards, we are ready to be parents (shocking I know). Now, all we need is the right case to come along and we will say yes to it. Once we say yes, it gets put in the birth mother's hands and she would have to choose us. If she chooses us, this means we are matched and we begin counting down to her due date!
Q. Who is sending you these "cases"?
A. We are working with an adoption consultant here in Atlanta who serves as a liaison between us and agencies all across the country. We have kindly referred to her as our baby broker, because that is really the role she is fulfilling. She is not an agency herself, but she helps us each step of the way and assists with streamlining the otherwise very confusing process. When these agencies across the US have birth-mothers looking for adoptive families, they will email her the specifics and she will email us along with her other clients. If we see one that fits our criteria, we reply to it and send our profile book to the agency to show the birth-mother. If she likes us enough, she chooses us. Because we get up to several cases a week, the odds are in our favor of being matched in the near future.
Q. What age child will you be adopting?
A. Our consultant works primarily with newborn cases. This means we will hopefully meet our baby in the hospital on day one. We have said that we are open to multiples, so we don't know for sure if we will have one baby or possibly twins!?
Q. Where in the US are you adopting from?
A. Our consultant works primarily in states that have a short revocation period. This is the period of time the birth mother has following birth to change her mind. Georgia is 10 days, so she doesn't really facilitate adoptions here. The states she mostly works in have revocation periods of 72 hours or less. Texas, Nebraska, Iowa, Kansas, Arizona, Oklahoma just to name a few. There are several others as well. While this is not as likely as news stories and Lifetime movies would like us to believe, it can happen so she tries to minimize the risk as much as possible.
Q. What do you still need help with?
A. We have been blessed by all of you so much that we are 40% of the way to reaching our goal! God is continuing to blow us away with His faithfulness through your support. We know that He will continue to carry us through this process and will continue to provide until our baby is home. We also are still very much in need of items for our yard sale. It will be held the weekend of August 3 at the K-Life House here in Atlanta. If you have items around your house that you would like to donate, you can email me at stephanie.oprea@gmail.com.
Q. Why does this process cost so much?
A. Different states have different fees based on costs associated with the agency, legal fees, medical expenses, cost of living, etc. Because this can be such a confusing process, we are also working with an adoption consultant whom several of our friends have used and had great experiences with. She's been in business for 20+ years and has trusted relationships with agencies across the country which help ensure that our inexperience doesn't cost us time or money.
Q. What can we be praying for?
A. This is the most heartwarmingly important question! Pray for wisdom as we read through these emailed cases and that we would recognize when the right case comes along. Pray for our birth mother that is somewhere out there carrying our baby- possibly making the tough decision to keep the baby, give him/her up for adoption or even end the pregnancy all together. Pray that she would feel peace with her decision to place her baby for adoption. Lastly, pray that we would continue to raise the support which will allow us to financially bring our baby home.
Q. So does this mean that you've given up on having biological children?
A. This is probably the biggest unspoken question that everyone has but doesn't want to ask. I can honestly say that we are more hopeful now than we've ever been that we will have biological children one day. If you recall in my last update, my genetic results in relation to my translocation were sent off to a geneticist in New York who analyzed many different factors to give us some more specific answers vs. the textbook 50/50 answer we had originally. Well my personal risk for recurrent miscarriages came back at 38%. Every woman has a 20-25% chance of miscarriage for any given pregnancy. The fact that my risk is only slightly elevated above that means that the odds are definitely in our favor! We learned this before we even started the adoption process and took it as complete affirmation that now is the time that God is calling us to adopt and we are very hopeful of biological children down the road. Adoption is our first choice right now. We never want any child of ours to feel that they are anything less than that.
Thank you all so much for the sweet words, texts, notes and emails that we've received from all of our friends, family and complete strangers who happen to care about our story. God is continuing to amaze us with His faithfulness and we can't wait to meet the little one (or ones??) that He has planned for our family!
Now, I have to apologize at my lack of blogging since then. Between adoption prep, camp prep and being out of town- our summer is flying by! I've been meaning to do a post like this since the last one, because we've been getting a lot of the same questions about our adoption process from so many people. We are so grateful for all of the encouragement we've received! Here is some more info on the excitement that will be Oprea party of 3 (or more??)
Q. Where are you exactly in the process?
A. We have our final pre-placement home study visit this Sunday (July 14). Once our social worker writes our report after the visit, we will be "ready on paper". This means by government standards, we are ready to be parents (shocking I know). Now, all we need is the right case to come along and we will say yes to it. Once we say yes, it gets put in the birth mother's hands and she would have to choose us. If she chooses us, this means we are matched and we begin counting down to her due date!
Q. Who is sending you these "cases"?
A. We are working with an adoption consultant here in Atlanta who serves as a liaison between us and agencies all across the country. We have kindly referred to her as our baby broker, because that is really the role she is fulfilling. She is not an agency herself, but she helps us each step of the way and assists with streamlining the otherwise very confusing process. When these agencies across the US have birth-mothers looking for adoptive families, they will email her the specifics and she will email us along with her other clients. If we see one that fits our criteria, we reply to it and send our profile book to the agency to show the birth-mother. If she likes us enough, she chooses us. Because we get up to several cases a week, the odds are in our favor of being matched in the near future.
Q. What age child will you be adopting?
A. Our consultant works primarily with newborn cases. This means we will hopefully meet our baby in the hospital on day one. We have said that we are open to multiples, so we don't know for sure if we will have one baby or possibly twins!?
Q. Where in the US are you adopting from?
A. Our consultant works primarily in states that have a short revocation period. This is the period of time the birth mother has following birth to change her mind. Georgia is 10 days, so she doesn't really facilitate adoptions here. The states she mostly works in have revocation periods of 72 hours or less. Texas, Nebraska, Iowa, Kansas, Arizona, Oklahoma just to name a few. There are several others as well. While this is not as likely as news stories and Lifetime movies would like us to believe, it can happen so she tries to minimize the risk as much as possible.
Q. What do you still need help with?
A. We have been blessed by all of you so much that we are 40% of the way to reaching our goal! God is continuing to blow us away with His faithfulness through your support. We know that He will continue to carry us through this process and will continue to provide until our baby is home. We also are still very much in need of items for our yard sale. It will be held the weekend of August 3 at the K-Life House here in Atlanta. If you have items around your house that you would like to donate, you can email me at stephanie.oprea@gmail.com.
Q. Why does this process cost so much?
A. Different states have different fees based on costs associated with the agency, legal fees, medical expenses, cost of living, etc. Because this can be such a confusing process, we are also working with an adoption consultant whom several of our friends have used and had great experiences with. She's been in business for 20+ years and has trusted relationships with agencies across the country which help ensure that our inexperience doesn't cost us time or money.
Q. What can we be praying for?
A. This is the most heartwarmingly important question! Pray for wisdom as we read through these emailed cases and that we would recognize when the right case comes along. Pray for our birth mother that is somewhere out there carrying our baby- possibly making the tough decision to keep the baby, give him/her up for adoption or even end the pregnancy all together. Pray that she would feel peace with her decision to place her baby for adoption. Lastly, pray that we would continue to raise the support which will allow us to financially bring our baby home.
Q. So does this mean that you've given up on having biological children?
A. This is probably the biggest unspoken question that everyone has but doesn't want to ask. I can honestly say that we are more hopeful now than we've ever been that we will have biological children one day. If you recall in my last update, my genetic results in relation to my translocation were sent off to a geneticist in New York who analyzed many different factors to give us some more specific answers vs. the textbook 50/50 answer we had originally. Well my personal risk for recurrent miscarriages came back at 38%. Every woman has a 20-25% chance of miscarriage for any given pregnancy. The fact that my risk is only slightly elevated above that means that the odds are definitely in our favor! We learned this before we even started the adoption process and took it as complete affirmation that now is the time that God is calling us to adopt and we are very hopeful of biological children down the road. Adoption is our first choice right now. We never want any child of ours to feel that they are anything less than that.
Thank you all so much for the sweet words, texts, notes and emails that we've received from all of our friends, family and complete strangers who happen to care about our story. God is continuing to amaze us with His faithfulness and we can't wait to meet the little one (or ones??) that He has planned for our family!
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