Sunday, June 26, 2011

Your mercies in disguise

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

"Blessings" by Laura Story

We have felt overwhelmed by the love and support of our family and friends over the past week. From the emails, to the meals, flowers, edible arrangements, and more- we have really felt incredibly loved. For those that don't already know, last Friday, Dustin and I went for my 12 week appointment at my OB. On the way to the appointment, I was already envisioning the creative blog post I was going to write when we came home to announce it to "the world". God had other plans. We were told that the baby no longer had a heartbeat and had stopped developing. As the ultrasound technician said those words, I was thinking "She can't possibly be saying this to us"- but she was. In that very minute, the hopes and dreams and plans that we had for this baby ended with the stillness of our little one on the monitor. Because I was so far along and my body had not gone through the actual miscarriage yet, I had to have a procedure called a D & C on Monday. While I would not wish this experience on anyone, I know God has a purpose for it. When babies stop developing, it is most likely due to a chromosomal abnormality or developmental problem and the baby most likely would have not been carried to term or could have been born with incredible challenges. I feel that the job I have gives me a firsthand look at these children and what these families go through every day. There is a beautiful video called 99 Balloons that gives an inside look at what many families I know go through. While this has been a heartbreaking experience, I know that it was because God thought it was more important for our "little buddy" to be with Him now and He could have been sparing us from further pain later on. Thank you all for your continued support and prayers during this time. Through all of this we know God is still God and God is still good.

"God gives. God takes. God's name be ever blessed."- Job 1:21

5 comments:

  1. Steph, you and Dustin have such beautiful faith. You both will be such a support for others who have gone through the same thing. We love y'all and are praying for you both.

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  2. Dustin and Stephanie- I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I am praying God's comfort and peace over you. May you know Him as the God of all comfort during this time (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

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  3. Praying for both of you! My sister and her husband just went through the same experience in April at 20 weeks and I know it is a difficult one, but God does have a plan and a reason for everything.

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  4. I'm so sorry. I know that even now, over a month later, you are grieving for your child. There will always be a part of you that will, until that great day when all things will be made right again. But make sure to take time to grieve well. And if you are ever in Columbia, let me know!

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  5. Dear Stephanie, I came across your blog tonight, started reading past entries and came across this one. My heart hurts for you but I am also encourgaed by your great faith. Dave and I lost 2 little ones (in between Zoey and Ruby). What was amazing to me was the number of women who came out of the woodwork to share their own losses with me. It's crazy how many familes are affected by miscarriage. It doesn't make it any easier, but it sure is comforting to know other women have felt these feelings and can relate to me. Still now after many years I still get caught off gaurd by an emotional memory and I go back and re-read my journal. I look forward to keeping up with you through your blog. Blessings!

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