Five Months

Well it is hard to believe that you are five months old, little man! You are showing us so much of your personality that it feels like every day there is something new. There are some things I wish would stay the same forever, like the fact that you are so in love with your mommy and daddy and think we are the funniest people on the planet. Seriously, your sweet little laughs just warm our hearts! There are also things right now that I wish would pass quickly. We are trying to break you of your swaddle and you are not a happy camper about it. You are such a great sleeper that it breaks our hearts to hear your cries in the middle of the night. But because you are a champ at rolling from your front to your back and getting better at rolling from your back to your front, we really need to get you out of that swaddle. You really love playing with your toys on your play mat now and have also become quite the squirmer. You know when we are heating your bottles and stare at the warmer until it's done. Once it's done, you immediately begin reaching towards it with an open mouth! Here are some highlights from the month.

You got to experience your first snow days! 

You celebrated your very first Valentine's Day with mommy and your friend, Teagan.

Once we finally got some warmer weather, we went on some walks around the neighborhood.

Your daddy had a K-Life trip to Disney World and brought you back your very first Disney souvenir!

You really love being outside and going on walks with mommy and daddy!

We celebrated your great grandmother's birthday.

This month, you started eating solid food! Right now, your favorite is squash and you try so hard to take the spoon from us and feed yourself. You are quite the advanced eater, sweet boy! 

I'm a boy mom

I'm a boy mom. This is something I honestly have to keep telling myself. After almost five months, I am fully aware that we have a baby boy. The spit up stains, poopy diapers and endless bottle washing remind me daily that we have a baby and I wake up every day thankful that I get to be his mom. What I have a hard time trying to visualize is that we do in fact have a boy. Since I'm being honest, I should say that I am more comfortable with girls. I am a girl. I have three nieces. All of my friends have girls.

Boys are a whole different ball game. They're loud. They're messy. They don't. stop. moving. They play with legos and trucks and salamanders. I know princesses and Barbies and tea parties. I play dress-up and paint nails and love going to the American Girl store.

I also know that this boy certainly has my heart. He always will.

I may not know every piece of equipment at a construction site or the names of Thomas the Train's friends, but I can promise you this much- I will learn. I will learn all the powers of the superheroes. I will learn what makes rockets fly. I promise not to scream too much the first time you catch a frog. I will kiss your scraped knees and try not to freak out the first time we drive you to the emergency room with a broken arm from climbing a tree. I am your mom. I will take you on field trips to the fire station and listen to your stories about things exploding. I will be on the sideline of every sporting event and learn the best way to get out grass stains. I will learn how to build sand castles and how to smash them down. While I realize we may not wait in line to see the princesses on our trips to Disney World just yet, I can promise you that I will learn how to build the biggest tower that Lego-land has ever seen.

I'm a boy mom. I'm Finn's mom. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Snow Days Slow Days

Well by now, I'm sure most of the country has seen how a couple inches of snow paralyzes the South. I know that northern friends aren't sure whether to laugh or just feel sorry for us... but regardless, we've made it through the snowpocalypse of 2014. Thankfully (or not, depending on how you look at it), Finn has had his first cold this week so I decided to work from home on Tuesday. Let me just tell you. Best. Decision. Ever. We had so many friends that were stuck out on the roads and interstates for 8, 12, 16+ hrs because of the gridlock that shut our city down. Just to give you an idea of what I'm talking about... most of our interstates looked like this:

Thankfully, Dustin also decided to stay home Tuesday. While we know that this was a week that so many would rather not remember, we will know it as Finn's first snow. Here are some pics of our little snow bunny. Even though our little guy wasn't feeling his best, we bundled him up and took him outside for a couple minutes so he could see the rare white stuff falling from the sky. I have a feeling his next snow day will involve a lot more sledding and hot chocolate.

Four Months

This post is definitely a bit delayed. Our little man turned four months old last weekend and we can hardly believe it!

Sweet boy, we love you more than words. You love to smile at us and have begun to full on laugh at things we say or do- whether you actually understand us we have no idea, but it certainly warms our hearts! This was quite the busy month for you, little man. We celebrated your first Christmas in South Carolina and Texas. You tagged along with mommy and her friends on a long weekend trip to Charleston. This was the longest you've been in the car (7 hrs!) and you did so wonderful- as long as we kept you fed : ) You really don't like tummy time, but you're getting better at it. You can now push up on your arms and love to grab at your toys when they hang above your head on your play mat. You now like holding onto toys and bring everything to your mouth. You cannot get enough of your hands! There isn't one particular finger you suck on, but rather you try to stick your whole hand in your mouth. You are drooling buckets and I wouldn't be surprised if we saw a tooth in the next couple of weeks. The biggest milestone you've reached this month is sleeping through the night!! You now sleep 12 full hours and still take 3 good naps a day! We are so thankful you like your sleep, little man, because we do too. I went back to work in the beginning of January and you stay home on Tuesdays with Miss Courtney, your new nanny and Wednesdays are daddy/Finn day, because he stays home with you all day. I'm so grateful to only work away from home two days a week! We love you to pieces, munchkin!

Let's see how you're growing...

You're up to 15lb 2 oz and 23.5in! This puts you in the 50% for your weight and barely the 5% for your height- as you just made the chart this month. You are definitely filling out and have the leg rolls to prove it. 

 My handsome New Years date this year, since daddy had a K-Life party.

Insert your own caption here...

 We've been watching church from home to avoid being out in flu/RSV season and Finn seems to be captivated by Andy Stanley.

 Happy boy during our 7 hour road trip to Charleston.

The first time breaking out of the swaddle... and quite proud.

 

 First time in the bumbo.

"Bearing" the cold winter we've been having : )

 

This. Face.

"Seriously, we're doing this again?"

"Ok, mom- but just for you"

A little help from daddy for the smiles

Showing off our newest skill for the month.

 

January Fourth

When the word anniversary comes to mind, it usually brings happy thoughts. Flowers, fancy dinners and smiles. There are also anniversaries that some would like to forget, but have become such a part of you that they seem as inseparable as the air you breathe. Those are the anniversaries that feel more like scars than smiles. Today is one of those anniversaries. Two years ago today, we lost our second baby on what would have been the due date of our first. The painful irony in that never really seems to fade. Last year, it was the first thing I thought of in the morning and I spent most of the day reflecting on the transformation God had done in my heart since January 4th, 2012. We released two balloons in memory of our babies. Little did we know, they had a sibling that would join them just a couple months later.

This year; however, was different. It was not the first thing I thought of when I woke up- instead I crept silently downstairs to grab a cup of coffee before our sweet baby boy woke up. My day was spent shopping for groceries and diapers, folding laundry, sorting baby clothes and washing bottles. It didn't even dawn on me that today was January 4th until I was rocking Finn after feeding him and getting ready to put him to bed. Part of me felt guilty for forgetting and the other part felt guilty for remembering while our baby boy was asleep in my arms. It was then that I realized that whether or not I remember and reflect on each and every moment of that day two years ago doesn't matter. What matters is that God remembers. He remembers those moments even clearer than I do. When tears were streaming down our faces, His very heart was breaking with us. He carried us through it and brought us faithfully to the other side. He wants desperately for me to know that His love never failed. He was enough for me and will be enough for anything that I will continue to walk through.

So while the memories of January 4th, 2012 still ache as they come to the surface, God is using it to refine and redeem me- his very daughter. For those of you that have your own January 4th, know that God wants to use it for your good and for His glory. While it may hurt and the memories may sting, know that God remembers and His heart breaks with yours. Not because He is powerless, but because He knows it's not the end of your story and longs for you to see your joy come in the morning.